Unholy Guacamole and how to find a ripe avocado!

Ok, I'm retired now you see, and one of the things I vowed to myself was that I would take up cooking (something I have avoided religiously).  Well, I bought a PETA vegan cookbook a year ago in preparation for this major life change (cooking that is, not retirement).

Now when I was flipping through the pages (and chuckling over the humourous names of the dishes), I found "Unholy Guacamole" - and it looked really easy:  3 large avocados, 1/4 cup of chopped cilantro, one 16 ounce jar of salsa , and salt (to taste).  Just mix it all together and eat with chips, nachos, or by itself!

I had some difficulty finding avocados in the supermarket and I didn't know what cilantro was.  I kept thinking that was the name of something alcoholic (but chopped?!) but then realized that I was thinking of cointreau!  Anyway, I found all the ingredients, came home, found a suitable bowl and began the process ...   

I found my knife was not going through the avocado very well.  Are they normally this hard to cut?!  After quite a bit of effort I cut one in half and found it very hard inside as well as on the outside.  Hmmm.  Ok, time to re-think.  Were they not ripe?  So how does one know when they are ripe?

As I always do when I am in a dilemma like this, I Googled "how to tell when an avocado is ripe".  I found the following advice which made me laugh through each step.  My disappointment was tempered by my amusement. 

How to tell if an avocado is ripe:

Instructions

1)  Press gently on your forehead.  This is an example of how an avocado should not feel when you press on it.  This means the avocado is too firm and not ripe.

2)  Press gently on your cheek.  If your avocado feels this way, do not purchase it.  Your avocado is too ripe and possibly rotten.

3)  Press gently on your nose.  This is how your ideal avocado should feel to your fingertips.  Look for avocados with a little bit of give, but not too mushy.

Well, my avocado feels like my elbow!!  I'll wait a few days and try again.  Stay tuned!